A Dog's View
by Bamboo Pug
Summary: Porthos. All about Porthos The Beagle Has Landed
1. Chapter 1 Porthos' Escape

**A/N: There are hardly any fictions from Archer's Beagle, Porthos so i concocted my own little thing.

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A Dog's View

My owner gave me cheese today! He says I eat too much…well, hello Jon but you're the one who gives me it! I can't help it if he gives the cheese to me in the first place. How much pressure can a dog take? Gees.

Jon's asleep and I'm bored. His yellow ball dumped in the one corner so I decided I'd make use of it. I thought it might alleviate my boredom. Unfortunately, it didn't. I wanted a walk, which might get me tired enough so I might get some sleep. I jumped on the bed, hoping to wake Jon. He snores heavily and I shake my head. He could sleep through a storm.

I licked his face, spreading my long tongue over his forehead. I kept at it for a good few minutes to no avail. He wouldn't wake up. I tried barking at him in my hopes. Still, snoring.

I even tried jumping and barking at the same. Yip, he is still snoring. Least Phlox wasn't this bad. Perhaps I could try and open the door but alas, I knew I was too small. I may be a Dog with big ideas, but I was still a Beagle nonetheless. How I envied the taller breeds of the canine world at this moment. Anyhow, it was still worth a try.

Jumping off the bed with a small thud on the ground, I went to the door. The door-opening button was far too high for me to reach, even if I reared on to my hind legs. I thought for a while and looked around the room. The window filled with moving stars was behind me and the light coming from the outside window fell onto a four-legged chair.

I looked at it looking at the glints shining from the chair. An idea came to me and I went up to it. I walked round it, my tail wagging at my brilliant plan of action. I pushed it by the leg towards the door and leapt onto it. So far, so good. My plan was going to plan. Still I couldn't quite reach the button I hoped for. I had seen my owner press loads of times in order to open the door. I reared up once more and this time, to my pleasure I could reach the button. I pressed it with a paw and the door opened, disappearing into the wall.

I was quite pleased with myself. I jumped off the chair, landing superbly and walked out of the room. Firstly, I walked down the corridor. No new smells here. Nope, human scents and me. As I continued down the corridor I came upon a rather familiar smell. Of course, being the Beagle I am, I investigated. Trotting as I went.

I turned the corner to see one of Jon's closest friends Tucker. I wonder what he was up to at this time of night. His face started to turn towards my direction. I tried quickly to back away but blast, he saw me.

"Hey Porthos. What are you doin' 'ere? You're supposed ta be in yer quarters"

Trip stated as he picked me up. Much to my disgust. Hey Trip-o, I was walking here! Oh well, he couldn't hear me however loud I shouted. But barking could work. I barked once and struggled against his grip a bit.

"What are you strugglin' for Port? You wanna walk?" I thump my tail across his back. "I think that's a yes. Damn, I'm a bit busy righ' now Porthos" Trip said, he looked annoyed but his face soon brightened up. I wondered why.

He turned tail with me back the way he had come. We came up to a door and my captor pressed a button.

"Come in" I froze.

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**A/N: Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2 Porthos' Fun

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews i've had so far. they've really helped. Well done on the premonition by the way!**

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Commander Tucker and myself walked into the quarters of none other than Malcolm Reed. The guy with all the allergies you could possibly think of. The guy who is so fixated on his dear Armoury he hardly has the time to socialize.  
My captor placed me on the floor soon as the door closed. I could try and make a quick exit when the engineer did

"How can I help you Commander?" I heard him say.

"Porthos wants a walk. I haven't got time to walk him…could ya…?" Trip left off. I hoped the lieutenant would say 'no, absolutely not. Go and find someone else Sir' but no he had to say:

"Of course Sir" He said with a smile.

Hate him. Absolutely hate him. I really don't get him sometimes. How Jon can stand I have yet to wonder. He has allergies to several things I either can't pronounce or even remember and yet her still walks me. Hello! Someone call Dr. Phlox, something is wrong with this guy.

Trip left and I tried to make a get-a-way but that son of a gun, reed grabbed me before I could leave. Just great. I wondered if he would give me cheese answering to a rumbling stomach.

I looked up at him and turned to him once he let me go. I cocked my head at him. he got the message. Oh, looky do, he's not so thick after all. He started to rummage into a cabinet on the wall. I barked, hardly being able to hold my excitement at the prospect of getting cheese.

Cheese is what I live for, apart from Jon. He's been there for me a long, long time. Since I was a pup, I think. Anyway! Back to the cheese! Crumbly, cheddar cheese I savored. My mouth drooling at the thought.

He removed his hands from the cabinet empty. Empty? They shouldn't be empty; they should have cheese in them! Stupid human but then I thought he isn't my owner so why would he have cheese.

"Sorry Porthos. I don't have anything" He looked at me. I cocked my head once more at him. I tried to smile but precisely at that moment I drooled. Reed went crazy, trying his best to scold me. He went to the bathroom and fetched a towel. I have to admit he is a very efficient cleaner.

I decided to have some well-earned fun and ran to his bed. Damn. He saw me and made for me before I could reach the bed. But he missed and I jumped upon his back and then onto his neat bed. Ha! Not so neat now!

"Porthos!" he cried as he struggled to get up. I laughed within myself. I was very pleased.

He managed to get up in the end and looked at me with a stern expression on his face.

"That's it! No cheese for you now!"

Bit late for that now isn't it Reed? I do enjoy making fun of things and ruining Lt. Reed's perfectionism in tidiness. I looked at the bathroom and saw white regulation style towels hanging on a rail on the wall. I jumped off the bed, strode over there and pull them down save one, which I found difficult to muster.

I barked at him in glee. Hopefully Reed would get the notion to let me out the door. He didn't though so I ran between his feet and he fell once more in the hopes of catching me. I hid.

"Porthos! Here. Now!" He ordered. What's good in that? I'm not part of Starfleet and Regs.

I barked once more.

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**Please read and Review - i look forword to seeing them.**


	3. Chapter 3 Porthos' Horror

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing**

**Firebirdgirl:** Exactly what i've done...i hope this chapter lives up to your expectations...if any

**Wolfling:** Hilarious review and it made me laugh, which i like cos it brightens my day. Thanks for that review. As for Malcolm in a bubble that could be interesting...very interesting. Go Malcolm! Thanks!

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**Drat!**

**He found me. He's got me by my tummy supporting me by holding my rump. What does he think he's doing I thought as he put me in the middle of the room, evidently thinking on what to do with me.**

**"How about a walk? I'm up to one, are you?"**

**Bingo!**

**Finally got there eh?**

**"Just don't bound off to anywhere"**

**Where else am I going to go? This ship is only so big. I barked my reply. He nodded slowly. He put his uniform on and walked out the door with me in tow. I followed closely knowing he would expertly catch me.**

**We completed one circuit of a deck. The same deck as Malcolm's quarters. I still had a lot of energy in me, I could tell. So I trotted fasted, all in all, I made Malcolm start to jog. It was quite amusing but he did it well.**

**He managed to catch up with. Well, only because I let him. He went to a turbo lift and I followed. I nipped him on the leg slightly. He breathed in through his teeth. I barked at him hoping for a cheese treat.**

**"I don't have anything. Ow… What am I going to tell Captain Archer? Hello Sir. Do you mind if I put your dog into the brig" I look at him and cock my head. Mad. He's gone barking mad and I'm the dog. Well, least he talks to me.**

**"I wonder what Captain Archer will think of your excursion?"**

**He said thoughtfully. The doors open and I trotted out, with Reed following closely behind. I knew we were going to the Mess Hall. Cheese I thought. Think of all that cheese just waiting to be eaten. I grinned to myself and starting running as fast as my short legs would allow. Reed ran after me cursing.**

**"Porthos! Heel!"**

**Cheese. Must get to cheese. Oh, how I love cheese. The Mess's door opened and I bounded in. In the process I tripped up Hoshi who was just leaving but what made it even more hilarious was the fact that Reed was too busy looking for me he didn't notice the communications officer lying on the floor, trying to get up. He fell over her, hit his hands and chin on the deck.**

**I barked and he just glared at me**

**"Never again am I walking that bloody dog" Malcolm muttered as he tried to get up. "Sorry Ensign"**

**"That's ok Sir. Porthos been up to his old tricks again I see"**

**Reed smiled a little bit and they looked at each other. Lovesick twats. Get a room will ya! I barked and both their heads turned sharply towards me.**

**"If you like Sir, I'll walk him. He seems to be causing you trouble" Hoshi smiled at her superior.**

**I hoped Reed would agree…Hoshi was far better then Reed…besides she actually feeds me cheese. Glorious cheddar cheese!**

**Reed nodded and Hoshi took over, stepping back inside the Mess Hall. Reed left with a nod.**

**I followed Hoshi to the cabinets and looked at her. She gave me a chunk of cheese, finally. I chewed on the chunk, savoring every bite. Hoshi got something to drink had sat down at a table. I wandered over.**

**"Isn't he something Porthos? Isn't he something?"**

**Hoshi scratched me just behind the ears and I rolled onto me back in delight. Jon normally did and I loved it.**

**Just then Travis entered looking rather bored…please, please don't let him walk me….please don't...**

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**A/N: Please review. It seems this little Doggie Fic seems to have gone down well...I will try and get all the senior crew in it...it'll be hard...Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4 Run Around

Just then Travis entered looking rather bored…please, please don't let him walk me….

"Hey Hoshi" The boomer had his usually grin plastered on his face. You'd think he had plastic surgery. What a fix.

The helmsman of the NX-01 sat opposite Hoshi. He patted my head and I glared at him

"So Hoshi. What are you up to this time in the morning?"

"Couldn't sleep" Hoshi yawned, whilst handing me a piece of cheese, which I merrily chewed on.

"You sure you should be doing that?" Travis asked, looking at me. I just stared back.

"What the Captain doesn't know won't hurt him" Hoshi replied, I saw her smile at him.

I heard the helmsman laugh and saw him stamp his foot heartily. It was at that point he asked. How could he ask? I don't like him for crying out loud!

"Say, you don't mind me taking Port for a walk do ya?" He asked.

"Course not"

"Come on Porthos" Travis patted me on the head again. Gee, let me finish my cheese first. He wasn't waiting and Hoshi pushed my behind towards him so that I had to get up and follow him.

I decided that I would have some fun with and as soon as the Mess Hall doors were open I bolted through them. Travis saw me go and followed.

"Porthos!" the Boomer cried running after me. I had quite a head start and ran around the corners. I just ran around the deck. Travis can be so stupid at times; he followed me and didn't even stop to think of going the other way.

A turbo lift door was just closing and I squeezed in. I heard Travis shouting for someone to open the doors again but he was too late. The doors closed on him and I just about saw him throw his hands in the air.

"Porthos?"

I froze again. That accent was very distinct. Commander Tucker, again? I felt my paws leave the ground. Hey wait! I don't like being lifted this way…oh brother. HowI hate all but Jon

"So, you escaped from Malcolm huh? I'm not surprised. Looks like you've been keeping Travis on a work out."

I barked in delight. Least the chief engineer wasn't dumb as some people I could name.

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**Sorry it's so short...I'll try and get the next chapter to be longer. I promise! Please review and any suggestions for the next chapter would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5 Porthos Finale!

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far...i hope this is longer than the last chapter and I hope it's even funnier...happy reading!**

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The turbo lift stopped on Trip's deck. He was going to his quarters when I ran into him. At that moment he got distracted and I felt his hold on me loosen. I took my chance. I skillfully jumped out of his arms and landed safely on the floor plating. What skill eh?

I fled down the hall Tucker shouting after me. It also happened to be the deck that T'Pol's quarters were. Though at the time I didn't look which doors I was running through. When I smelt fumes I froze. Panic. All I could think about was fire in the room. I barked in fear.

A figure arose from the side of the wall. I recognized her as T'Pol. The Vulcan Jon's always muttering about. How on earth could he stand this woman I don't know. How can one show no emotion is beyond my doggie ears.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in the same usual tone. She stood over me for a while, obviously wondering what to do with me.

I wondered what she was thinking but while I was wondering, I noticed that the fumes didn't alarm me any more. I cocked my head to one side and barked.

I swear T'Pol jumped a meter high when I barked. She sat down slowly and I too plonked my fat behind on the floor. It was cold and unwelcoming as you could get.

I saw T'Pol stand up again and went over the wall.

"T'Pol to Lieutenant Reed"

A rather sleepy and somewhat annoyed Reed answered.

"Reed here"

I knew he was trying to stifle a yawn. Humans are that predictable. Well, come now. I have been with one since only god knows how long

"Could you come to my quarters?" T'Pol stated whilst casting one eye on me like I did something wrong.

"On my way" Reed left off and we waited for the dreaded arrival.

T'Pol sneezed suddenly which made me jump. I barked, making her jump. She isn't very good with keeping dogs I see. The door chime goes and she went to answer whilst keeping a fair distance away from me.

"What's the problem Commander?" I heard a Reed say

"The Captain's dog is in my quarters…it would be prudent you remove him if you could"

"Sure" I rolled my eyes. Not him again. I turned round and saw T'Pol come back into the room, evading me again. Then Reed came in and hoisted me onto his shoulder.

"Thank you Lieutenant"

"Anytime" Reed left and we went through the corridors. Where are we going now I wondered.

"Bout time you got back to your own quarters I think"

Great. Fat plonker, I don't want to go there! Jon snores! I barked in protest.

Still he took me to Jon's quarters. He rang the chime and loud cursing could be heard from the inside. The door opened to reveal a very annoyed Captain.

"Just came by to return Porthos Sir" Reed told him.

"I thought I heard the door open. Thanks Malcolm. How long was he running around for?"

Reed handed me back to Jon.

"Well, Commander Tucker came to my quarters with him then around half an hour later T'Pol called to ask if I could remove him from her quarters"

Jon laughed, I could feel the vibration through his tall body.

"Well, dunno about you Malcolm but I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep right on ya. So I'll say goodnight and see you in the morning"

I managed to glimpse Malcolm smiling. He hardly ever smiles!

"Yes Sir, good night"

I saw Malcolm go to leave but felt Jon moving at the same time

"And Malcolm?" Reed turned round "You might want to change. You got dog hairs all over ya, sorry about the inconvenience Malcolm"

"Don't worry Sir…I needed the exercise anyway" Reed smiled and continued down the corridor

"Well, Porthos. Time for us both to hit the sack" He placed me on my bed and he went over to the wall to get something, but not before he crashed into the chair I had pushed towards the door earlier.

I laughed and rested my head on my short legs. Good night Jon.

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**A/N: Finito!  
I'm afraid that's the last chapter ever! If you think i should start a sequel...do say so and i'll see what I can do...but please bear in mind i have two others that need serious sorting...and don't forget to keep reviewing...the purple button is calling you...**


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